


Captain Matchmaker

by Irena__Rose



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Getting Together, Humour, Matchmaker Jack Harkness, Matchmaking, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29642610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irena__Rose/pseuds/Irena__Rose
Summary: "Now before you jump to any conclusions, I have not taken you hostage, I am not planning on killing you, and I do not have some evil plan." The Captain said to Rose and the Doctor, who were both tied to chairs in the middle of the control room."Today, you two are finally going to talk about your feelings for each other. And this is the only way I thought of that guarantees that you will listen to me. So I'm sorry for drugging you, and tying you both to chairs, and stuffing cloths in your mouths, but it just had to be done. So, without further ado, let's begin."
Relationships: Ninth Doctor & Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
Kudos: 19





	Captain Matchmaker

"Now before you jump to any conclusions, I have not taken you hostage, I am not planning on killing you, and I do not have some evil plan." The Captain said to Rose and the Doctor, who were both tied to chairs in the middle of the control room. He'd arranged them so that Rose and the Doctor were facing each other. "But at the same time, you will not be allowed to leave until I've finished talking.

"Today, you two are finally going to talk about your _feelings_ for each other. And this is the only way I thought of that guarantees that you will listen to me. So I'm sorry for drugging you, and tying you both to chairs, and stuffing cloths in your mouths, but it just had to be done. So, without further ado, let's begin."

"So basically, as I am sure you are aware, you two are madly in love with each other. And, as I am also sure you are aware, neither of you are planning on doing anything about it, so I decided that it was time that I gave you two a little nudge. Now Rose, you're probably thinking something along the lines of 'he doesn't like me like that', or 'it'll be awkward if I say anything and he doesn't feel the same way', bla bla bla."

Jack hadn't actually looked very hard at either of the other TARDIS inhabitants since he had begun this rant, instead just pacing around them. If he had looked them though he would have seen the Doctor looking furious and Rose looking mortified at what was coming out of Jack's mouth. "But Rose, sweetheart, the Doctor _does_ feel the same way. And you know how I know? Because I have eyes, that's how!"

Jack was aware he was starting to sound a little bit frantic, but he pressed on anyway. "And, even if I didn't have eyes, I do have ears. Which is why I recorded him a couple of days ago with this neat little device." Jack held up a small piece of technology that looked a bit like a TV remote. When the Doctor saw what it was his face turned even more thunderous than it already was.

"So I'm just gonna press play, and Rose, you need to listen carefully, okay?"

He pressed the button and Jack the Doctor's voices began playing through the speakers in the TARDIS interface.

_"So when are you going to tell Rose that you love her?"_ the Captain said on the recording.

_"Leave it, Harkness."_ the Doctor answered.

_"Yeah, that's not gonna happen. So, why haven't you told her?"_

_"She's only twenty years old, Jack. I'm forty-five times her age!"_

_"And she's old enough and mature enough to think for herself. So why are you so insistent on avoiding talking about your feelings and finally making a move!"_

_"If I did make a move, and if she did feel the same way, then one day I'd still have to lose her. Goodnight, Jack. I'm going to bed."_

The recording gave a final click and then ended. The Doctor's face had gone crimson and he glared daggers at the Captain.

"I'm sorry for the invasion of privacy, etcetera, etcetera, but for crying out loud Doctor! I simply cannot allow this to continue. Are you really planning on living the rest of your life without falling in love? Depending on how wisely you use your regenerations that could be thousands of years.

"And I am just sick of wading through the mixture of sexual tension and jealousy and testosterone on this ship! I mean seriously Doctor, you know I flirt with everyone, but I so much as look at Rose the wrong way or complement her appearance and you're all like 'hands off the blonde'. And don't even get me started on when Mickey comes over.

"You two have something here that most people never get. I may not be nine hundred years old, but in my lifetime I have lost people I cared deeply about. Which means that I know that people _always_ regret the things that went unsaid more than they regret the things that didn't. Which is why I simply cannot let that happen to the two of you.

"We are parked on a cliff in Barbados, and right outside those doors is a beautiful candlelit dinner just waiting to be eaten. Now, you two are going to go outside, and I'll be out of your hair for the rest of the evening. I'm just gonna lock myself in my room before I release you because I would _really_ like it if I didn't get murdered tonight. And just so you know, tomorrow I'm gonna want all of the details, okay Rosie?" Jack smiled at her. "Goodbye, lovebirds! I've got a wedding to plan."

* * *

"Well good morning to the two of you. I was beginning to think that you two were never gonna get up." Jack said when he was the happy couple wandering into the kitchen.

"We got sidetracked." Rose said, smiling up at her boyfriend/partner/lover.

Jack grinned. "I bet you did. I've got to ask, are either of you angry at me?" Jack had been feeling nervous all night.

"Oh, I'm angry at the invasion of privacy and the recording me against my will, but I think that considering how well it turned out I might just be able to find it within myself to forgive you, lad."

"Thank god. So am I right in thinking that you two are going to stop pretending that you aren't madly in love with each other?"

"Yes, we are." Rose reached up and kissed the Doctor. "So, are the pancakes just for you or do we get some as well?"

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Comments and kudos make me shit rainbows.
> 
> -Irena xxx


End file.
